“Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.” ~ William Butler Yeats
Unlike some of the philosophers and great minds throughout the ages, I do not believe the purpose or meaning of life is to seek or find happiness.
Rather, I see happiness as a product of living a meaningful life. By aligning our lives with our values, we also come to find happiness. In my case, I find it through deep personal connections, growing, and making a contribution. That’s not to say I don’t find happiness in the little pleasures of life as well.
In her bestselling book, “The Happiness Project,” Gretchen Rubin, discuses both the deep and meaningful aspects of finding happiness, as well as the small, everyday joys.
Have you ever thought to yourself, what am I really doing with my life?
This was the question that initially stirred “The Happiness Project” into being. Gretchen recalls, “One April day, on a morning just like every other morning, I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life.”
Like many of us, she found herself suddenly aware of the fact that “this is my life – but I never give any thought to it.” Sound familiar?
Are you truly happy with your life?
“Happy people make better friends, colleagues, and citizens. I wanted to be one of those people,” Gretchen noted. “I am happy – but I’m not as happy as I should be. I have such a good life, I want to appreciate it more – and live up to it better.”
Throughout that day, she continued digging deeper into these thoughts, and asking herself more questions.
“How could I set a higher standard for myself as a wife, a mother, a writer, a friend?” How could I let go of everyday annoyances to keep a larger, more transcendent perspective?”
She knew she couldn’t just let this go. Her life needed to change, so she began her happiness project.
So what exactly is a happiness project?
Gretchen describes it as “an approach to changing your life.” This doesn’t necessarily mean changing your life in big ways, but in small ways that can make a big difference.
The thing is, no two happiness projects will look exactly the same – your happiness project will be a reflection of who you are – your values, joy, quirks, and habits.
For instance, Henry David Thoreau’s move to Walden Pond worked for him. Elizabeth Gilbert’s travels through Italy, India, and Indonesia worked for her. Robin Easton’s move to the Australian Rainforest worked for her.
What’s especially unique about Gretchen is she proved you don’t have to move across the world to learn, grow, and improve your life. You can start right here, right now.
As Gretchen stated, “I was an unadventurous soul, and I didn’t want to undertake that kind of extraordinary change…And more important, I didn’t want to reject my life. I wanted to change my life without changing my life, by finding more happiness in my own kitchen.”
Discovering Happiness
So the very next day, Gretchen went to the library. She dove into researching her happiness project, leaving no stone unturned – from the great minds throughout the ages, to religious texts, to positive psychology, and even to pop culture.
Through her research, she discovered one of the most important elements to our happiness is social bonds. Accordingly, she resolved to tackle Marriage, Parenthood, and Friends, as part of her happiness project.
Perspective is another important aspect of happiness, so she added Eternity, Attitude, and Mindfulness. Her other resolutions included, Work, Play, and Passion.
Despite what many say, money does play a role in happiness; so she also included Money. Finally, she concluded that the foundation for success in all of these other areas is Energy.
Making resolutions
Over the course of one year, Gretchen focused on each of these categories for one full month, leaving the last month for integrating it all into what she called, “Boot Camp Perfect Happiness.” To do this, she created a series of resolutions – specific and measurable actions to take.
Some were as easy as “keep a gratitude notebook.” Others were much more difficult, such as “Enjoy the fun of failure.”
Gretchen wrote about her progress, and still continues to write about happiness, on her blog, The Happiness Project. Over the course of a year, she made so many important discoveries about herself, about happiness, and about life in general. And yes, she did improve her happiness.
Her book is a treasure trove of great quotes, funny stories, and simple-but-wise insights, including:
“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.”
“What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.”
This book is all about discovering what truly matters to you and making small adjustments to your everyday life. It’s about slowly stretching your boundaries and growing to new heights – both of which can lead to greater happiness.
If you or someone you know could use some more happiness in your life, I highly recommend checking out Gretchen’s blog, reading her book, or better yet – listen to the audiobook, read by Gretchen herself (the route I chose)!
A Special Gift
As a special thank you to my community, I am also giving away TWO copies of “The Happiness Project,” one of which is SIGNED by Gretchen Rubin!
I reserved the signed copy for members who were already subscribed to my mailing list, “The Full Experience.” If you’re interested in keeping up-to-date with my latest insights, receiving insider tips, and opportunities for free giveaways, I would love for you to join as well!
On Sunday, July 3rd, I will be selecting one more person to receive a free copy of “The Happiness Project.” If selected you can choose from either a kindle version or paperback from Amazon.com.
To subscribe, simply fill out the form below. I look forward to connecting with you!
Be wise. Live life! 
Hi Adrienne, did you get a chance to meet the lovely Gretchen in New York? Deb introduced me and for two minutes, I had a lovely conversation with her. Her calm, wonderful presence exudes happiness – just as yours although you are not that calm. You’re more like me. Bubbly and excited and full of energy.
Thank you for doing a review of this book and so glad you spent time reading it. Your explorations here are going deeper and deeper and I can *see* growth in you and it’s a beautiful thing. Hope you are staying very HAPPY!!!
Hi Farnoosh,
Yes, I did!! I knew she was going to be there for the book expo, so I tracked her down via Twitter. It just so happens that I ran into her right before going to your speech! We got to chat for a few minutes and she signed a copy of her book for me (which I’m passing along to one of my lovely readers). She definitely was very sweet and laid back…whereas I was a bit more silly and star-struck (silly, I know, but it happens!).
I AM very happy…and I have so many ideas for this space and how I want to continue growing. Very soon, I will have all the time in the world to work on it!!
Thanks so much for support, and for your friendship! You truly are an inspiration to me.
Hello Adriene,
Quickly upon reading the opening quote:
“Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.”
…and not reading the rest of your post, this comes top of mind…
‘Happiness’ can come from the re-birth of some former beautiful quality that brought happiness to one’s self and others. It’s like the loving ‘long lost friend’…at times completely forgotten, but now in a warm, loving embrace with you!
I see a metaphor of this re-growth in my little *Peace Garden* that I have been planting and cultivating. From what was a patch of hard dirt I have put in a triangular section of grass, backed with transplanted Jade plants. I have added other store bought plants for color. I have a garden tile made by my young daughter, plus other tiles layed upon the grass. There is an antique wooden wheel barrow with a planter box that I made set within it. Ripe summer tomatoes are now being picked from it.
But what is most beautiful and stands out so gloriously is the tall orange Gladioulus that came from a long lost dormant bulb which someone planted many years ago.
With good and genuine intentions *Happiness* can come back to us, and this will manifest itself within and outwardly in so many ways.
A harden soul is no different than harden soil.
A beautiful soul is no different than a beautiful garden.
Growth and happiness can flourish from each of these…
Hi Rand,
I’m returning from a brief digital sabbatical over the holiday weekend, and what a joy this is! I loved the quote when I saw it, as I see growth as an important aspect of experiencing life fully. However, anything that tries to oversimplify is usually just that…oversimplified.
I do see happiness in general as a product of continuous growth and aligning our lives with what really matters…but you are absolutely right. We all experience many moments of happiness as well, and one beautiful source of those moments is the “return of a former happiness.”
I haven’t really broken into the world of gardening *yet* but I just loved your little metaphor…delicious! It reminds me of finding dollar bills in the pocket of a coat you haven’t worn in awhile.
Love, love, love your closing thoughts! You have a wise and lovely spirit, my friend.
“Through her research, she discovered one of the most important elements to our happiness is social bonds.”
…and
“What’s especially unique about Gretchen is she proved you don’t have to move across the world to learn, grow, and improve your life. You can start right here, right now.”
…and now as I read your post our neighborhood is filled with Mexican karioke serenade rising from below. This has become a beautiful family Sunday ritual from the home below me.
Before I came back to your post I returned an email to a life time friend of mine. Mike has lived on his sailboat for 15 years all over the world…what he has seen, done, lived would astound the likes of the above. Who knows? Perhaps he and Robin met up one time or another ‘Down Under. Just the 19 day passage I made with him from Australia to New Caledonia is quite a story.
But Mike is now teaching 450 students in Thailand as he puts it “a working stiff”.
He will be back for a visit come September.
We will compare ‘gray hairs’
We will share many stories.
Thank you for a wonderful post and sharing Gretchen’s *Happiness Project*
Viva La Vida!
Mike sounds like an interesting guy, and a great friend! As you two are comparing gray hairs, I’ll be embarking on my own epic journey through the Himalayas!
Care to share that Australia to New Caledonia passage story some time?? You must know how I love stories by now!
Oh God!
What have I done???
I’ve shared that story here and there a few times already…usually comes up regards the FEAR!!! topic.
Maybe when my little brother Mike comes back I can get a good story out of him for you.
We have done many a marathon, hike, 100+ mile bike rides, swims, etc. together. He had an art of getting my former Irish wife riled…his ear has been pulled many a good time by Bernadette!
Hmm? Come to think of it he does look a bit like an elf?
Your pretty young…see the kind of friends you can have for life that you meet at a road race?
Thanks Adrienne for your kind words…