In my previous post, Highlights from the Himalayas, I briefly touched on the “Stay and Eat” culture that pervades these mystical mountains, but today I’m hoping to paint a better picture of what it means to give in the Himalayas–and how their generosity differs from that of Western culture.
For starters, I was stunned when during our first conversational Hindi lesson we learned the word for “thank you” doesn’t really exist in Hindi. Okay, so there technically is a word, but it’s really only recognized and used in the cities, where there is more of a Western influence. In the mountains, it is seldom used, and what’s more, people often seemed annoyed when we would try to thank them. They would either turn their heads, or shake their hands at us as if to say, “Don’t, it’s not necessary.”
When we asked our Indian instructors why this is, they explained that giving and generosity are such integral aspects of their culture. In fact, it is part of the religion and culture to view possession as a very fluid thing. Giving is more of a matter of “changing hands” than an act of generosity. In their eyes, the cucumbers and other food they would give us were never really “theirs” to begin with. They see them as having passed along to them and now they are simply passing them along to us.
I believe there is a great sense of generosity in Western culture, but it seems to be more of a secondary thought. In other words, the sentiment seems to be, “If I have ‘enough,’ I will happily donate my surplus.” Whereas in the Himalayas, the villagers were eager to give away their best cucumbers to a passing stranger, and they would have happily given more even when it means less for them. In contrast, people in the U.S. are more inclined to donate old, used, or unwanted items rather than their prized ones.
Interestingly, during a coffee chat a couple of months ago, one of my minimalist friends, Josh Millburn, was telling me about how he donated his favorite clothes and shoes — just for the experience of giving up the possessions he likes most as well as to practice detaching for material things. (You can check out his interview about it on Simple Black Coffee.) So, this is something we as Westerners can certainly do, but it doesn’t come integrated into our culture. It’s something we have to make ourselves consciously aware of and push ourselves outside of our comfort zones to achieve.
This genuine spirit of generosity and non-attachment to material possessions are two aspects of the culture I would most like to emulate. I feel as though the giving must come first. Like Josh, I can practice by giving away the things I value most — yes actual physical possessions, but perhaps even more important, my time and attention. After giving and more giving, I believe the detachment will begin to follow suit.
One final thought to share with you…
The Wise Woman’s Stone
A wise woman, who was traveling in the mountains,
found a precious stone in a stream.
She reverently placed the gem in her bag.
The next day, she met another traveler, who was hungry.
The wise woman opened her bag to share her food.
The hungry traveler saw the precious stone in the wise woman’s bag,
admired it, and asked the wise woman to give it to him.
The wise woman did so without hesitation.
The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune.
He knew the jewel as worth enough to give him security for the rest of his life.
But a few days later he came back, searching for the wise woman.
When he found her, he returned the stone and said,
“I have been thinking. I know how valuable the stone is,
but I would like to exchange it in the hope that you can give me something
much more precious. If you can, teach me the secrets about the power you
have within you, the power that enabled you to, without hesitation,
give me this precious stone.”
~Excerpt from The Secret Power of Yoga by Nischala Joy Devi
What are your thoughts on generosity — either in the West or other cultures?
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If you enjoyed these insights — be generous and share them with your friends!
Adrienne,
I love what you share here! Thank you for your insights. I lead a heart based life, so sharing is effortless and joyful for me; as you point out, sometimes time and attention are far more treasured than material possessions. I find that people are often surprised when I offer to be present or to share without being asked to, or at the depth with which I share..and I wish that wasn’t so. I wish it was as you experienced, that we all shared generously from what we have now in this moment..so often I find people feel they ‘aren’t enough’ or “do not have enough” to share..when it is a smile and a moment of presence that is as life changing as any possession or dollar amount.
The latest wisdom shared by Joy: Abundance is a State of Being
Dear Joy,
You are a rare soul indeed when it comes to your spirit of giving and generosity, especially here in the Western world. It’s encouraging for me to know it’s possible for whole communities to function this way, and that more and more people in the U.S. are beginning to lose their attachment to “things,” and are therefore beginning to give more freely of themselves.
This is a great post to remind me how to give. My family is very involved in donating whatever we can to our church and to the needy. About once or twice a year we weed through our closets and give away clothes and shoes we don’t wear. Our daughter also goes through her toys and gives as much as she can to less fortunate children. Her generous spirit to give up even a real special toy truly inspires me. It is a big deal to give up what you need in the present and I commend those who do it. I hope one day I will be presented with the opportunity to give the shirt off my back and do it, no hesitation.
I coordinate a community outreach committee at my daughter’s school and we are working in this very area. We teach the children what it means to sacrifice time and possessions, to help the less fortunate. This doesn’t always mean giving up literal items, but to take time to visit with others that may be home bound or lonely. We coordinate several trips to nursing homes to sing Christmas carols, take cards and simply visit. I’ve found in my life that giving up material possessions is the easy part, giving up time is the real challenge.
Thank you, Adrienne, for embarking on a life changing journey and sharing a way of thinking that is really giving me new perspective. It feels ethereal reading your posts, I am taken away and so very touched.
Love, M
Hi M!
Thanks so much for sharing–I had no idea how involved you guys are with your church and community–so cute about the donating toys, I love that!!
Volunteering is definitely something I would like to get more involved in. I’ve typically been one of those people that I described–donating unwanted things to Goodwill as well as donating food items to the food pantry. I did some volunteering in soup kitchens and other places in college, but haven’t since then.
I’m not sure why, but I always seem to keep things at an arm’s distance from myself. Even in India, I had trouble jumping in and engaging with the locals and immersing myself in the culture. Perhaps that is a challenge area I need to continue to push myself in.
Anyhow thanks for all you do–and I hope you guys will keep challenging yourselves in this area as well!
Love you!
They really do have a different way to look at generosity. It seems their way of looking at generosity would bring people closer together. After all, if they give away valuable things to others without expecting to be thanked and know that others will do the same for them, that would build trust and a sense of community with each other. Seems to me like a pretty good way to live.
The latest wisdom shared by Steve: Should You Listen to Your Instincts?
Hey Steve,
Yes, it definitely does bring people closer together…them closer to each other, us closer to them, and us closer to each other as well. Trust is another big thing among them. When someone steals something, the whole town takes great offense and feels ashamed about it, which is probably why crime is pretty low in the mountain villages.
Glad you stopped by.