I recently returned from Kripalu’s Inner Quest Intensive program. The best way I can describe this program is to say it was a deeply real, profound, and incredibly human experience.
This is likely to be a long post, but please bare with me…it’s SO worth it. Imagine if you were trying to write about one of the most profound experiences of your life. It’s not easy to cram it into a couple paragraphs.
I’ll do my best to capture the essence of my experience – sparing you the details while trying not to leave anything important out.
So here goes…
What brought me to Kripalu?
Going to Kripalu was a major stepping-stone in my spiritual journey.
For the majority of my life, I’ve been caught between drifting, exploring, and clinging to different beliefs. I’ve taken classes, scoured religious texts, and poured over ancient writings to explore religion, philosophy, and the wisdom of the ages.
Desperately, I’ve been looking everywhere “out there” trying to make sense of this world. I went so far as to get a degree in Physics, attempting to get at the source of the way the world works. Then I went on to Psychology, trying to understand how the human mind works.
I was searching all over trying to find meaning, purpose, and happiness.
If I could just read enough books or blogs, I thought I might somehow find the answers I was searching for. I kept thinking, someone, somewhere has to have figured it out.
If I could just connect all the dots, something would be revealed to me. I would suddenly understand.
Somewhere in the midst of all this searching, I stumbled into the ancient practices of yoga and meditation. These practices teach that the answers are “in here” rather than “out there.” They are already in me.
Finally, I began to discover something spiritual that exists outside of a defined religion.
So, I set out to explore these practices more deeply. I needed a way to explore my inner self.
I attended yoga and meditation classes, and of course, I read yoga and meditation books. I even practiced at home. Somehow, I still wasn’t finding what I was looking for.
Kripalu was another piece of that puzzle. I needed a break from my everyday life in order to get in touch with my inner self. I needed to put myself in a place where I could cut myself off from the rest of the world for a little while.
When I read the Inner Quest Intensive description, it was as if something reached deep inside and pulled at my heart. It called to me. I immediately knew this was something I needed to do.
What did I get while I was there?
I couldn’t possibly explain or describe everything that happened this weekend. For starters, it would probably sound just plain nuts. But nuts as it was, it just plain worked.
Here’s my best attempt to describe the essence of my experience. Here’s what I found at Kripalu.
Beauty of nature. For starters, the drive across New York and into Massachusetts was absolutely incredible. I found myself staring and smiling around every turn. The hills rolled across the landscape, dotted with the fading green of summer trees and the bright oranges, reds, and yellows of autumn. Rivers snaked across the valleys and lakes sparkled in the sun. From Kripalu’s campus on top of a hill, you can see straight down to one such lake, surrounded by the same rolling hills and gumdrop-colored trees. If’s that’s not the scenery for refreshing and renewal, I don’t know what is.
Connections. More than just the beautiful landscape, this weekend was filled with deeply profound connections – to others, to ideas, and to the very universe itself. I learned how to connect with others from the inside, not the outside. At our very core, we are all very much the same. We all came into the world pure and innocent, but we were each shaped by our different experiences. This weekend, I looked past the outer shell of differences, of likes and dislikes, of behaviors and appearances. I was able to connect with that inner place, the sameness in each of us.
Gifts of listening and being heard. We practiced a unique form of interacting, where there was one speaker and one listener, and tremendous benefits on both sides. As the speaker, I experienced someone fully listening, not judging or commenting. They became a mirror for me, showing me exactly what I needed to see. As the listener, I was relieved of the pressure of needing to say the right thing. I was allowed to let the story and words seep into me, being fully there for my partner. Through these exercises, I found my judgments being torn down one by one.
Trust in the Universe. When we first arrived, we were told that the universe had selected each one of us to be there, and over and over again, we were told that we would be provided with the perfect partner. Sure enough, I got the partner I needed over and over again. I found myself letting go and putting my trust in the universe. I allowed my life to unfold one moment at a time.
Sense of timelessness. With no watches or clocks to be seen, I discovered a place of stillness, of complete openness to whatever comes next. I went with the flow, relinquishing control and allowing myself to be guided. For once, I was truly present….living in the moment.
Mindfulness. Outside of our partner work and group discussions, we were committed to social silence. Walking, eating, sitting, breathing – they all became ways to become observant and aware. What was I putting into my body? How was I carrying myself? What was the quality of my breath? I noticed how each of these was affecting me. I started getting glimpses of my inner self.
Rhythm and dancing. Have you ever been able to just let your body feel the rhythm, to let go and let your body move itself? Have you every done that in a small room filled with 35 other people? Me too….when I was four. I finally found that place of wild abandon once again. It felt like getting in touch with my primal roots, so real and natural, the way my body was meant to move. I checked my ego at the door and let my body do the rest.
Yoga and meditation. Like me, human beings throughout history have felt a desire to connect to something greater, to find a sense of purpose, meaning, and belonging, and to find happiness. For centuries, many have found the answers in yoga, in the “union” or “yoking” between the mind, body, and spirit. Yoga is a pathway deep into our inner selves, into the very essence of our existence. Each day, I found myself guided a little further down that path.
Release of energy blocks. In Yogic tradition, prana is the energy and life force that fills us, and samskara are the energy blocks that get trapped inside us when we suppress our feelings. Those feelings don’t disappear – they get trapped inside and block our energy. However, the same feelings that created the blocks can also remove them. By allowing those waves of feelings to rush over us again, and riding them out, we rid our bodies of samskara and allow prana to flow. And believe me, there was plenty of surfing going on this weekend!
The power of breathing. Throughout this adventure, we were constantly instructed to “take a good breath in, and let it out with a sigh.” I believe this practice alone has the power to change my life. Through the breath, we bring in prana, our energy, our life-force. It’s always there for us to tap into– this flowing source of energy – all we have to do to reconnect is draw our attention to the breath. It can slow us down or speed us up. It’s the doorway to being in the moment.
Profound discoveries. Throughout the program, I was continuously discovering and seeing the world through someone else’s eyes. I explored, reconnected with my inner child, went with the flow, heeded the inner call, stood on sacred ground, and walked in the wisdom of so many who have come before me. I fought a tremendous inner battle that reminded me of a song I loved when I was little – One Tin Soldier. This weekend, I left the valley and went to live on the mountain. (If you don’t know what I mean, watch the video here.)
Release. Not too long before coming to Kripalu, it was suggested to me that I stop reading for a while. At the time, the idea seemed ludicrous. Stop reading?? I’d go crazy! I felt like I had this insatiable hunger for knowledge, this maddening thirst for answers. After all these intense experiences, after my inner battle, after all my perfect partners, I felt like I could finally let go. I could just stop looking. I’m not saying that I’ll quit learning or seeking wisdom. I’m saying I can quit the crazy obsession with finding answers. I can be open to life giving me the experiences I need. I can be.
Integration. This weekend wasn’t just about experiencing. It was about having experiences and letting them really soak in. After an intense session, we would lie down with pillows and blankets, just like in kindergarten, allowing what we learned to settle and work its way through us. Likewise, after each meal, we were given time to journal…another way of making sense out of experiences and allowing them to really become a part of us.
Kripalu, the incredible people I met, the experiences we shared, and the wisdom I gained, truly became a part of me.
What did I take away?
As we were getting ready to leave Kripalu, we spent some time discussing ways to integrate ourselves back into our everyday lives. We were urged not to go out and preach. Instead, they encouraged us to embody what we learned.
Let the light shine through you.
But be specific about it. Channel the light through specific habits. Take small actionable steps to integrate this experience back into everyday life.
A few specific ways to embody what I learned:
- Spend time connecting with nature.
- Explore the journey of yoga.
- Attend yoga class twice a week.
- Practice sun salutations every morning.
- Incorporate meditation into my daily routine.
- Breathe deeply.
- Take a bubble bath.
- Laugh.
- Get a massage.
- Let my body move to the music.
- Schedule dates with myself to do something I enjoy.
- Check in with at least one friend or family member every week.
- Write in my journal.
- Participate in kirtan once a month.
- Take walks during lunch sometimes.
- Have quiet time before bed.
- Limit my twitter and facebook time.
- Remember there are so many incredible resources out there. I’m never going to see them all.
- Read a book, blog, etc. and give myself the time to really let it soak in.
- Really and truly listen.
The Inner Quest Intensive Metta Prayer
May we be healthy.
May we be happy.
May we ride the
waves of our lives.
May we live in peace
no matter what
we are given.
A message to my fellow IQIers
Thank you for telling me all of that. I’ve heard you.
I’ve seen you.
Your intentions live in my heart.
Jai bhagwan, love, and shimmers to all of you!
During those final hours, not everyone got a chance to share. What’s your backstory, the essence of your experience, and what are you taking away? Please feel free to share all or part of that, or whatever you feel called to share. Even if you did share your story, we’d love to hear it again! Was there anything else you wanted to say?
To all of the other Wisdom Seekers
Have you had a profound life experience?
What parts of my experience ring true for you?
What aspects are calling out to you?
Please share your thoughts!
Hi A,
Wow, One Tin Soldier brings me back! I listened to it again, as though for the first time, and felt my eyes well up. I remember singing that song all the time with my Mom as a child, sounds strange but it brought tears to my eyes back then too.
Your experience sounds motivating. There are so many points you touched on that I have been implementing in my life. I have not practiced yoga in a couple of years, but I am fully aware of the peace it brought me. There are times when I ‘m driving or mindlessly working, that I practice meditation. I find that inner reflection as well as prayer can take place in any place and at any time. About a year ago, I started walking every day on my lunch break…it makes my day less chaotic and gives me the chance to talk to a coworker that has become a great support in my life.
I find it so funny to hear you say that, not reading is a great challenge for you. I used to read fervently as well, but discovered how incredible learning from experiences and others was. I put the books down several years ago, and live life fully learning through others, occasionally reading, and embracing my family.
It sounds cliché, but I have learned how to live, love, and let go from my daughter. No matter how arduous my life seems she still wants to swing, slide, kick the ball, and love me. When I come home from a trying day, she embraces me with a big hug, a big kiss and tells me how much she missed me. That moment is exactly what it should be…
M,I’m always learning from you and you never cease to amaze me. Being around you, Jeff, and Callie is just so inspirational. When we were kids, I might have found it harder to believe I’m saying this…but I truly hope that I can be as amazing with my kids as you are with Callie. You are so loving, open, patient, and everything I hope to be. I can’t wait to see you guys again!
I was thinking about you, David, and our Moms when I was at Kripalu and while I was writing this post. We used to listen to “One Tin Soldier” on your mom’s record player and we’d all be belting it out and tearing up. =) I probably haven’t heard the song since then until I thought about this past weekend and found it on YouTube.
This experience was just so incredible…I wish there was a better way for me to share it with you! Next time we get together, I’ll have to fill you in some more. I really really think it’s something that your mom and my mom should go to. I’ll talk to you more about that offline.
Adrienne, sounds like your life has been changed forever and your spirit renewed. I’m so happy for you. What an incredible experience. I can feel your struggle to fully express just how profound all of this was because so much of it is still inside you. I’m sure it will show itself in many ways to you in your life and through your blog. I can’t wait to see how it manifests. Much love.
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Hi Katie, definitely! Sometimes it can be so difficult to find the right words to describe something I feel so intensely. Hopefully I’ll get better at that with practice. More than anything, I don’t want to lose touch with the part of me that I found at Kripalu. I’m just so thankful to have found such a supportive community to make sure that doesn’t happen…especially you. The journey is so much sweeter when you’re surrounded by friends.
Adrienne,
I am so happy for you! I’m so glad this was such a meaningful experience for you. The thread that runs through your description and resonates for me is the way you and the others there were so present and so open and so willing to let the experience of the moment seep in deeply. It’s also a tremendous accomplishment to let go of your obsession with finding answers. It’s funny how often when we let go,that’s when answers seem to come. I especially enjoyed your description of the mindfulness and awareness practiced throughout the weekend.
I’ve been fortunate to receive many spiritual teachings and have many moments when it all clicked for me. I feel I have a sense of the joy and clarity you feel – at least my own version. I often feel very fortunate and grateful for all I’ve received.
Thanks so much for sharing your insights. It’s wonderful to be traveling the path of compassion and wisdom with you.
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Hi Sandra, it was truly amazing how open and willing to let go everyone was. Of course, we didn’t all start out that way, but after some resistance and some ego-shaking, everyone came around.
One of the things that was really cool was that the youngest person in our group was in their early twenties and the oldest person was 70! That’s a lot of years of experience and wisdom to tap into. I think that’s one of the greatest things I’ve noticed about the blogging community as well…we are all different ages, from different countries, and collectively, we have so many experiences and insights to share.
It’s so wonderful and such an honor to be traveling this path with you too!!
Hi Adrienne! I’ve visited Kripalu about five years ago. What a gorgeous place! I can actually relate to all your points. I think my most profound experience was in India this past December. There were moments when the world stood silent. I felt like standing in the middle of a movie that was passing by.
On your point “let my body move to the music” have you tried the Nia Technique. It’s a fun way to let yourself explore your dancing limits. I’m a fan.
It’s beautiful to see your personal and spiritual growth. Keep it coming. Loving blessings!
Andrea, thank you so much for sharing!! I just looked up the Nia Technique, ( I hadn’t heard of it before) and it looks amazing! I take it this is something you’ve done? I got on the website and found a few classes that are offered near me. I definitely think I’m going to give this a try!
It’s so wonderful to hear that you’ve been out to Kripalu too. It seems I have much to learn from you. I’m planning a 4-month stay at Kripalu next year, and if all goes well, I’ll be headed to India myself the following Spring. I would love to hear about your trip. Did you write about it on your blog? I’ll have to check…
Thank you, Andrea, you are truly a beautiful spirit, inside and out.
Hi Adrienne
Sounds as though you had a great time.
Couple of things caught my eye – meditation and breathing.
I did the TM meditation course when I was at university and have kept it up since – more years than I like to admit.
Deep breathing or diaphragm breathing is a real stress reliever for any Public Speaker. Always calms me down before I hit the platform.
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Hi Keith, great point! One of the things that is most helpful after any experience is to think about how the “lessons learned” can be integrated into everyday life. I listed some things like “breathe deeply,” but you’ve reminded me of how important it is to take that a step further. For example, like you said, “deep breathing before hitting the stage when public speaking.”
Even though I really enjoy public speaking, I’ve found that it often takes a lot out of me and leaves me feeling pretty energy-depleted. I’m thinking a walk or something like that right after a workshop or seminar could be really helpful.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Adrienne,
This just sounds like such a moving experience. And to read your words, to let them soak into my soul..mmm….it just is so good.
I attended a leadership training workshop last year – a one week program with a group of 6 other people (of whom I didn’t know at all). This whole week was transformational – and so, so much more than just about leadership. By the time we parted, at the end of the week – we all knew things about each other that were some very deep things. To be in the environment, in the acceptance of it – so powerful. It reminds me of your time in listening without judging. I could go on and on about this week – and how it reached me at my core. I’ll stop for now – just know, though, that as I read your words here – they truly are landing upon my heart.
I’ve recently began both yoga and meditation, too – so reading about some of your experiences with that, too – these are moving as well.
Adrienne, I am so happy for you – and for this experience you had.
Much peace,
Lance
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Lance!! I’m so happy you paid me a visit.
Your experiences are incredibly inspiring, especially the recent marathon. It’s been amazing for me just to see the effect your experience had on your readers as well. It’s just so awesome to be able to share our most meaningful moments and great adventures with others and to see the ripple effect in action. I truly believe there is tremendous power in these types of shared experiences. I would love to hear more about your leadership workshop…it sounds incredible! It’s just so cool how many people are tapping into the power of yoga and meditation as well. Good for you! I look forward to sharing more adventures with you, so keep having them…I know I will. 
Hi Adrienne. I followed a link on twitter to get here. I really like the gift of listening. I think we all talk too much without listening to the world around us. So much is said in the silence. In Australian Aboriginal culture it’s common to have a conversation without speaking. Elders sit together and speak when it’s there turn. I’ve not experienced this first hand, but I’ve had clients describe the experience to me. It intrigues me and is also the way that I communicate with spirit. The silence is filled with knowledge and information is communicated. You just know.
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Hi Simon, I’m so glad you found me! I haven’t heard about the Australian Aboriginals before, but their culture sounds very interesting. In fact, I’ve never really encountered this type of communicating before this experience. I love the way you put it…”The silence is filled with knowledge and information is communicated.” I learned more about myself and my partners in those silent moments, staring into each others’ souls, than I did through any of our conversations.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here!
Adrienne, I so enjoyed reading your experience…..You are a fantastic writer! I am very impressed with your writing voice and beautiful writing style of expressing yourself. I have heard about Kripalu a lot and as you may know, I love yoga and meditation and have been on some kind of journey for a few years – although I keep meaning to go deeper….I am so happy for you, Adrienne….My wish is that you keep this feeling with you….I am trying to keep the spirit of Bali with me as I integrate back into the crazy pace of daily life here too….Gorgeous writing, did I mention?
!
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Farnoosh, I have to tell you, I felt my face flush when I read your comment! It’s really a tremendous compliment and means the world to me to have my writing praised by such a fabulous writer.
Since blogging is intended to be conversational, it’s been a little difficult to adapt my writing style. It’s something I’m still tinkering with, so I’m happy to hear it’s coming out well.
If you’re looking to go somewhere to deepen your yoga and meditation practice, I highly recommend Kripalu! They have such a tremendous variety of programs and workshops…something for everyone. Perhaps a group of us could all go and meet up! How fun would that be?!
I wish you the best on holding onto Bali…it can so easily slip away. That’s one of the many reasons blogging is so great…it’s a way to keep being reminded of what’s important.
Adrienne, blogging is what you make it. It is entirely up to you how you write. I do not care too much for the very conversational tone. Not being conversational does not equate to not relating to our readers. You relate greatly here. And you are too kind, too sweet and too generous but I am so happy that you enjoy my writing.
but I have made no commitments yet. At some point, I was dying to do Ana Forrest training too….I will keep Kripalu in mind and you as my Kripalu expert for advice…..
In regards to yoga, I have been leaning more towards a Baron Baptiste training – I love intensity
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Farnoosh, you’re absolutely right! Sometimes it’s easy to fall into the trap of doing what others expect or what others say we should be doing. In the end, we really need to go with what feels right and works best for us.
I’m not familiar with the two names you mentioned for yoga…I’ll have to look them up. I look forward to hearing about it whenever you do go.
Adrienne, thank you for sharing your experience. I’m at the place you were up to the point of driving through the hills of the Bershires. I’m heading to the Inner Quest Intensive next week, the description of your journey has helped ring true for me that this is the right path. I hope to share my experience as well once I return as I will be there for 7 days, which starts with the inner quest ….. Peace, Tonya
Tonya, I’m so excited for you!! What a beautiful place to be…physically and spiritually.
The IQI was definitely a defining experience for me…one that helped me break out of the rut of unproductive thinking I had been stuck in. It’s amazing how much I’ve continued to grow as a result of that program. I hope you will find what you are searching for as well…I look forward to hearing about it!
~Much love, Adrienne
I came across this blog while searching for ways to transition back into the real world. I just spent 5 days at kripalu and it changed my life. So many things opened up. So many emotions got stirred and things surfaced and are still surfacing days later. I left too soon, I really needed to stay lover. Coming back into the real world is so hard. The support I had from others and the love I felt was unreal. I instantly made friends with people who just knew me… Like they could see deep into my soul. Reading your post was like reading my journal from my trip! I can so relate as I can’t wait to go back! Thanks for sharing!!!!!
Hi Adrienne!
I am getting ready to head to IQI at Kripalu next Thursday (the 7th). Can’t wait! It’ll be my fourth trip to Kripalu in 2 1/2 years. It’s truly a spiritual home for me (and so many others) and I’m so blessed to be able to go there regularly. Thanks for sharing your experience without revealing too much.
Meri