“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are made for.” William Shedd
You can spend your life….
Playing it safe,
slaving away at a job that slowly sucks the life out of you,
spending hours watching mindless television,
shuffling from one errand or chore to the next,
fretting about things you have no control over,
trying to keep up with the Joneses, or
settling for content…
But is that what YOU were made for?
If it is, I’m afraid this might not be the right place for you. I’m sure there are plenty of great places and people for you to hang out with in the harbor, but you see, this ship is about to set sail.
If on the other hand, you are driven by a deep desire to make a difference, to do something truly meaningful, and to fully experience the glorious possibilities that life has to offer, you too are destined for an extraordinary life!
Welcome aboard.
What is extraordinary living?
Not to sound terribly cliche, but it really will take on a different hue for everyone. My idea of an extraordinary life is bound to differ from yours. In fact, my extraordinary life may vary greatly from year to year.
Despite these differences, extraordinary lives share certain similarities.
If you reflect on some extraordinary lives from both past and present, from sages and philosophers, artists and scientists, revolutionaries and business leaders to teachers and grandparents, siblings and friends, they are typically characterized by these three traits.
An extraordinary life is…
1. One where the remarkable days outweigh the mundane or dismal ones.
Close your eyes for a moment and flip through your memories of the past year. Now bring to mind a handful of your best days. Days where you could close your eyes and sigh to yourself, “What a remarkable day.”
Your best days won’t necessarily look alike. Sometimes an incredible day will be…
Filled with excitement and adventure.
Passed pouring over a great book or learning something new.
Shared with a loved one or a group of buddies.
Devoted to a spiritual practice such as silent meditation.
Spent lending a helping hand or making a contribution.
Of course you know not every day is going to look like one of your best days. There will always be dark days and difficult times to face, but those who live extraordinary lives know the good days can outshine the bad.
Case in point, Viktor Frankl spent many days (several years worth) in some of the darkest and most inhospitable conditions possible – Nazi concentration camps. Yet, he was able to rise from those ashes and proceed to create his most meaningful work and inspire millions around the world.
In the grand scheme of his entire life, the remarkable days outweighed the dismal ones.
2. One that inspires or motivates others.
When you think of an extraordinary life, who comes to mind?
Maybe it’s one like Frankl’s, a tale of finding purpose and meaning in the most sinister of human conditions. Maybe it’s one that was ultimately sacrificed for a worthy cause, like Martin Luther King Jr.’s. Maybe it’s one dedicated to service and love, like Mother Teresa’s.
Or perhaps it’s someone you personally know. Like the grandma who earned two master’s degrees and flew airplanes in a time where women were expected to stay home and tend to children. Or the mom who left her family and home country to provide a better life for her son.
Just like our best days, we are all moved and inspired in different ways. Moreover, there are multitude of ways that we can move and inspire.
Simply reading about people’s adventures and endeavors, like Robin Easton’ s Naked in Eden and Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project has inspired me to embark on my own epic adventures.
Even seemingly small feats, like Raam Dev’s 7-day fast or Sandra Pawula’s 7-day meditation retreat, encourage me to examine my own life and inspire me to act differently.
3. One that can be looked back on with satisfaction and without regret.
Close your eyes once more, but this time imagine yourself as an old man or woman sitting in a rocking chair on your front porch. You rock gently back and forth as warm breeze blows, ruffling the pages of the weathered book you are clutching. You’ve just finished reading the Book of Your life.
What expression is on your face?
Is your mouth curved into a wrinkled smile? Is it tear-stained from recalling your triumphs through difficult times and reliving joyful occasions? Are your eyes lightly shut with a sigh of contentment on your lips?
Or is your brow furrowed and your knuckles white from clenched fists? Is it one full of sorrow, disappointment, or regret?
Sadly, too many people reach the end of their lives only to discover they never truly lived.
Through his many years conducting funeral services and from his interviews of over 200 people others considered to be especially wise, Dr. John Izzo discovered:
Death is not what we fear most. When we have lived life fully and done what we hoped to do, we can accept death with grace. What we fear most is not having lived to the fullest extent possible, to come to the end of our life with our final words being “I wish I had.”
So what separates those who are filled with a deep sense of purpose and satisfaction from those filled with bitterness and regret?
It’s who we become and the way we live our lives each and every day.
It’s the adventures and experiences we have.
It’s how we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
It’s the connections we establish and the relationships we develop.
It’s the contributions we make and the legacy we leave behind.
It’s also what I’m writing about in my upcoming ebook:
Choose Your Own Adventure
Make the Book of Your Life One Worth Reading
which will be a free gift to all of you who know you were meant to set sail!
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain
A final thought about extraordinary living…
Pretty much anyone can, but few actually do.
That’s what makes them extraordinary.
How about you? Are you still waiting in the harbor?
Or are you out sailing on the seas of extraordinary living?
Nice post, Adrienne! I love the image of the old person just having finished the book, and your question of what one’s expression would be. Great photo too!
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Glad you liked the imagery, Jeffrey! It’s one that pops into my mind pretty often. So which expression would yours be??
Fabulous post!! I’m trying to ‘sail on the seas of extraordinary living’. After my daughter miraculously survived a year-long medical crisis, I feel like I (her mom) have been given a second chance at life. And so I live with the keen awareness of the fragility of life. I try to grab at every opportunity- to learn and grow; and of course make time for fun and enjoyment. Work hard, play hard.
By the way, Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is one of my all time favorites. He teaches how to live well beyond adversity.
Harriet, how incredible…you just gave me chills! I’m so glad to hear your daughter is doing well and that you’ve taken so much from the experience – living well beyond adversity, as you said. “Man’s Search for Meaning” is one of my all-time favorites as well. Whenever I’m having a bad day, recalling his journey and triumph is always very grounding for me.
Keep sailing lovely!! I know you must be an incredible source of strength for your daughter, as my mom was for me.
Adrienne – thanks for sharing these 3 ideas on extraordinary living. What is even more extraordinary is the things we have to go through to get to extraordinary living (fear, uncertainty, self-doubt) Looking forward to reading your blog and learning more.
Very true, Vishnu, and interesting point. I don’t think a person has to break through all fears and uncertainties to live start living extraordinary now, but it’s definitely a part of the ongoing process. Also, a day spent facing your own fears and doubts may seem like a terrible day on the surface, but in reality, it may be one of the days you look back on as one of your best days.
P.s. Welcome, I look forward to connecting with you more as well!
Hello Adrienne,
You have made such an important point at the start of this article -> that “extraordinary” will have a different hue for each one of us and its meaning will also change from year to year. In other words, we have to define “extraordinary” for ours self.
“Extraordinary” seems like such a huge word. I can see why some people might feel intimidated by it. But really, “extraordinary” is really – more than anything – the special perspective we bring to the way we live our life. Though our actions may be quite ordinary, if we can infuse them with positive qualities like love, compassion, respect, understanding, tolerance, and forgiveness they become extraordinary. At least, that’s my feeling.
Inspiring others, as best we can, and living a life without regrets are also high on my priority list.
I’m honored that you have mentioned me. Which just goes to show you that all of us have the capacity to inspire one another.
You have wisdom beyond your years. I always am so touched by your writing.
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Hi Sandra,
I suppose it might be a bit of a big word, but I guess that’s fitting for me, as I feel destined for big things, whatever that might be.
You bring up a wonderful point though – that it’s all about perspective. Regardless of however “ordinary” our actions may seem, I think the point is to live with purpose and intention. Even by doing a simple thing really well or with our whole heart, we can can inspire others and bring meaning to our lives.
I was just shown that again at a talk I recently attended. It was given by a guy who spent 6 months backpacking, skiing, and packrafting across Alaska and Yukon. Hearing his story was so inspirational…not in the way that I would like to a crazy trip like that, but it did make me want to get out and backpack, run, ride my bike, or basically anything outside! It was another great example that just by being ourselves and doing what we love, we can inspire!
Hi Adrienne,
I thoroughly enjoyed this. Living a Life without regrets is certainly one of very deep satisfaction. Thank you &
be good to yourself
David
Hi David, thanks so much! I’ve def been enjoying myself – nearly two weeks spent with my best friend, catching up and making new memories, and now enjoying a visit to Austin.
Warm wishes,
Adrienne
Hallo Adrienne, you sound like someone on the cusp of their own discovery, adventure and ‘sail setting’ and that is always fun to witness.
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Hi and welcome! That’s definitely how I’m feeling right now, though I wonder if I’ll ever truly “discover myself.” I feel as though I’ve been searching pretty hard the past few years, and while I’ve certainly made a lot of progress, I’m starting to feel as though it will always be that – progress. However, I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing either. As I’m learning from my friend, Joy, life is a continuous process of unfolding.
Hi Adrienne,
I came over to see your video but the post is awesome. I can’t wait to read your book. I love the examples you use about those who have gone before us and came out giving life all they’ve got. I just purchased another copy of Victor Frankl’s book because I want to read it again after so many years.
Hubs and I just saw a movit, “Sarah’s Key.” It was mindblowing. We have so much in the US and complain way to much of our so called problems, that are really minor inconveniences!
Love the way you write.
I want to interview you when you finish your book. xox
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Hi Tess,
I actually didn’t end up posting the video on the blog – just YouTube and Facebook. I think I’ll give that a few more tries and see how it’s received before posting here.
Did you get a chance to check it out?
I’m a huge fan of Frankl’s book – it’s certainly had a powerful impact on me, as it has with so many. Have you started rereading it yet? Lance and I had talked about writing a joint post discussing the book, but somehow it never took shape. Might be a good idea to revisit! I’ll also have to look into “Sarah’s Key” – I haven’t heard of it before.
Thanks so much for the interview offer! I’m not sure that I’ll finish the book before my trip to India, so it may be sometime in November. I’ll definitely let you know when it gets there.
Adrienne I could not help but notice the ship’s sail and rigging… so natch had to read this post.
Yes, my Little Brother will be here visiting soon.
After the loss of his *truest soul mate* and sailboat outside of Auckland in a ‘Perfect Storm’… after healing…after purchasing and re-fiting his ‘Renaitre’ he went back out to sea.
A few years later I found myself on a passage with him across the Coral Sea…experiencing *Extraordinary Living*
After 10 days in safe harbor I was ready to go back out, even though it was not possible because the sailboat would take more than a month of repair from the beating we took on that passage.
I really appreciate what you have to say about some of what our ‘best days’ may be like.
To ‘Live Extraordinary’ an event does not have to be ‘Radical’ like what I mentioned above…heck…I can look back at the YMCA youth soccer teams I coached as one of the most wonderful times in my life!
Life has many types of extraordinary events. Even the lesser extraordinary fun events…seemly benign events… can come with pain though.
*None of this should prevent us from living an extraordinary life.
I have a DVD… ‘The Academy Of American Poets’ ‘THE POET’S VIEW’.
I like what Louise Gluck mentioned at the end of her profile.
‘I am going to assist aid, ill health, death, as they might occur. But there might be a poem there…a poem I could not write when I was young. That is a great consolation to me. I don’t know what I would do in absence of that.’
And the last words from her poem ‘October’ Part 3
“Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me my beloved life”
Thanks for this extraordinary post Adrienne!
Hello again Rand!
Your seafaring experience truly does sound extraordinary! The only ship I’ve ever been on was a cruise ship — not quite the same experience.
I’m amazed that your friend/brother was able to return to the sea — those are the kinds of stories that really inspire me. If I were to lose one of my “soul mates,” it’s hard to know what I would do.
I’m glad you enjoyed the post and appreciate you sharing your insights and bits of wisdom with me.
Until next time!
Hi, adrienne
Im sorry to write that i disagree on this post after seeing the time youve spend and the brilliant ideas of extraordinary life that you have embraced from your life experiences.
From my point of view i proudly announce that we are living “The age of Egoism”.
I belive that no more than 5% of the world population do actually life their lifes to the fullest. When your babies are starving at home, when your mom needs 14000$ medicaments a year, when your friends let you down, when life gets the synonym sad, when the last holidays you went to were 5 years ago. How about those people who do get that glance of happiness only when their favourite song plays the radio or those people who put a smile on their face only with past memories. An unstable present leading to conflicts in choosing future. The term you are using “experience life” makes me feel bereavement, cheerlessness, depression, desolation, dispiritedness, dolefulness, downheartedness, forlornness, loneliness, low-spiritedness, melancholy, misery, mourning, poignance, poignancy, regret, ruefulness, tearfulness, uncheerfulness, weepiness. I hoped and prayed for change to long when finally change came. The interest rate on bank loan lowered 0.5% isnt this great news?
Lets add this 0.5% to my life. I asked for a bank loan of 5000$ just so that it could increase our living standard. They asked me to repay 250$ a month when in total me and my lady after paying rent and bills will be left with no more than 700$. Now divide that into 5. Me(35)wife(30)son(6)son(2)mother(60) with heart disease.
Is this what im made for? Suffer
How do i view my life? Hopeless
Should i still close my eyes and visualise my self being old? ….really? Does it actually help?
I agree that everyone wants to be happy but for some that do it for their families happiness is hidden in their soul.